Stirring Things Up

This week, I applied for at least 8 jobs that are internal to the company I work for, and at least 4 that were external. I would MUCH prefer to stay with the company I'm with, however.

I have a lot of tenure, knowledge, and experience with my current employer, and it would be great to leverage and expand those experiences in our NY headquarters.

I'm trying to prepare myself and get things in order, just in case by some miracle a do get an offer. I'm a bit worried about:

My car and how to pay off the balance if it's worth less than what I owe. I certainly would not be able to afford the loan payment living in NYC. I figure I can sell it, but I doubt I will get enough for it to clear out the $387.00 monthly payment--but that's if I get an offer anytime soon, which isn't looking very likely. I suppose a personal loan may be in order if I'm lucky enough to get a job within the next few months.

First, last and security deposit. I live paycheck to paycheck, and I have none of the above. Best case scenario, should I get a job anytime soon, is to store my stuff with various family members and find a room or sublet in the city--or whatever else I can find, basically.

I read a good piece in today's New York Times on 'How to Be a Brainy Renter.' I've been reading a lot of these kinds of articles. Education and knowing what to expect seems to be making the process a bit less scary.

Lastly, it appears I've been contacted by an IT company in New Jersey. Now, I realize it's close to Manhattan and all, but then again, it's not really where I truly want to be. This is where it gets tough. Do I settle for this, knowing that if I get the job, I'll probably need to live in NJ? It doesn't appeal to me. It is a lot closer to where I want to be than where I am now, though.

Choices, choices...

Chipping Away Despite Adversity

So far, the job hunt has been very frustrating. This doesn’t come as much of a surprise, considering the national unemployment rate, but it’s been more difficult than I originally thought. There is a lot competition out there, much of which has an advantage over me in the education department.

Although I am a lifelong learner and literally educate myself daily—even on subjects that are typically taught in Ivy League schools, which is purely a result of curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. But it’s impossible to prove your intellectual heft on a resume without having a certified piece of paper from an over-priced university, which is supposed to be the only proof the world has to determine that you are educated. Mind you, in most cases, it is an impressive achievement that I encourage everyone to attain. I’d just like to see companies give more consideration to people with lots of experience, too.

I admit, I feel this way mostly out of frustration—the result of not finding another job yet.

Just this week, I’ve applied to five jobs within the company I currently work for (my preference), and about ten jobs outside the company. It’s too soon to receive a response from most of them, but I did get a ‘no thanks’ message from one. The silver lining there is that at least I didn’t have to go through a series of interviews only to lose out on the job. Truth is, I’m trying to stay realistic and be ready for lots of rejection.

I am only human, though, so I’m dealing with the inevitable urge to give up. There only a certain amount of disappointment one can handle. I do see it coming when it happens. Yet, somehow I don’t think it will make the blows any easier to take.

It will be interesting to see how I will hold up emotionally speaking, though. How long will I be able to endure the wave of rejections that will almost certainly come my way?

First Things First

I took this photo with my iPhone last September. I think it was after leaving a small cafe on Grove Street in the West Village. This sign wasn't in the same area as the cafe, but I know it was somewhere in the Village area.

In fact, I remember the sign, but since I don't exactly remember taking the photo, it occurred to me that I must have subconsciously taken the photo for future reference. I will definitely need help finding an affordable apartment if I move when I move, so this Blue Star group will probably be getting a call from me at some point.

My resume is updated, so step one is complete. The next hurdle is convincing my girlfriend to move there too.

I've already had some conversations with her about it, and at one point I even compromised with her so she'd stay open to the idea of moving there -- by agreeing to staying open to the idea of moving to Chicago (her fam is from there) or even Denver (I'm sure it's great there, but good lord, I hope not) for her sake.

But, when I sense that the time is right, I'm going to have to ask her to think about NYC exclusively. At least for the immediate future. What makes it tough to sell, though, is that I can't explain exactly why it's so important for me to live in NYC. It's just something I need to do. At least for a while, so I know once and for all whether or not this longing is a just a phase that I need to go through, or if it's a long-term personal need.

It's feels like a 'destiny' thing, or something like it.

She seems to be warming up to it, but I can never count on full acceptance/closure on the issue with her. Like many of the women in my life, she changes her mind about sixty times every minute; which makes it tough to bring plans to a solid commitment/agreement on where we're moving to.

But, this should not come as much of a shock to me. Indecision, fear of change/the unknown, and the fickle nature of others have always been a barrier for me to overcome. Again, this will not be easy.

It's 2:38 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm still stressing about all these obstacles in front of me! I guess it's time to cue up the iPod and try to decompress a little. Relaxing with a glass of wine would be nice, but I guess you can't have everything.

I mean, where would you put it all...

In a New York State of Mind

I've recently made the decision to go forward and try to relocate to New York City.

This may not come as much of a shock to those of you who keep up with this blog, but it is the first time I've made a commitment to myself to actually do it. I'm both unbelievably excited and completely terrified about this decision. I will not be able to afford living in a place like this below, but wow, would I just love to call this little place home:

I'm not getting any younger, and I'm tired of feeling like too many years have gone by hating where I live. I'm tired of feeling regret for not at least trying to do something about this perpetual longing of mine to live in New York City.

Home is where the heart is, and mine has long been in NYC.

Despite the fact that I don't currently live there, I am, without a doubt in my mind, a New Yorker. Granted, I would definitely feel completely at home and content living in Boston, or anywhere in the New England area, really. The truth is, I really love those places too.

I'm actually quite torn between the two; but the edge goes to NYC right now because the company I work for is based there -- so in order to keep my seniority and leverage my experience and knowledge of the company, it just makes sense to try and stay with them in the short term.

I figure if I can spend at least a few years there, maybe finish school there, decide what direction I want my career to go, and simply enjoy life in NYC to the fullest before I (hopefully) begin a family someday. If the day comes where I'm lucky enough to finally start a family, then I think that would be the right time for me to move to Massachusetts or even New Hampshire.

That, to me, would be perfect.

I think it's going to take a while to find a job in NYC, due to the current job market; but for the first time ever, I'm really serious about it. I just hope I don't lose my nerve or get discouraged.

It will not be easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm finally going to go for it.