Thursday, November 5, 2009

Mom, That Guy from That Movie Is Staring At Me

So, I went to the local mall today for lunch. It was a pretty routine lunch break, really. I'm not feeling well, so I walked a little slower than normal today when I walked back to my car after lunch. Rhetorically speaking, I kick and scream, I cuss and gnash my teeth.

Well, the kicking and screaming part is rhetorical, but I actually did cuss a bit. I do this, while the boring, responsible adult inside of me imposes its will on my impulsive side and forces me to go back. Just the thought of having to return to work while feeling sick is a struggle.

Anyway, as I fight this epic internal battle, I notice someone in my peripheral vision staring at me, and thought, "What the hell is he looking at..."

I keep walking. Well, it's more like slowly sloging along, really. I trudge along a few more feet, trying to ignore it, but there he is.

Just standing there.


"What the hell is that guy's problem." I start getting very annoyed. I'm in no mood to deal with jackasses today.

"This is a provocation that will not go unchallenged!" I say to myself. So I come to a complete stop, look over to my right, and there he remains. Totally still. Staring at me with his beady little eyes, as if to mock me. I was totally prepared to tell this guy off, but now I'm both slightly amused and a little creeped out.

It was a life-size cardboard figure of what's-his-name from that movie, "Twilight," placed by the door of an FYE music store. You know, the really pale white teenage vampire dude. Well, card-board figure or not, I still didn't like him staring at me.

I might have to knock him over next time I pass the music store. Stupid life-sized cardboard thingie.

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