Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Perpetually Ravenous

I don't know if there's such a thing as 'grass-is-always-greener' syndrome, or if there's an official name for it -- but if there is, I think I've had a pretty bad case of it for a very long time.

I don't know how normal it is to never be satisfied with anything.

Then again, what's the benchmark for 'normal' anyway, and who sets it? I mean, really.

I guess an argument can be made that normal is relative to whatever similarities in behaviors, beliefs, or traditions that a majority of people in a particular culture have in common with each other.

But even if that were the case, I think the word 'normal' should be outlawed and eliminated from language altogether.

I digress. Back to the grass-is-greener thing.

For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted more.

And when I've gotten more, I still wanted more than that too.

I would love to be one of those people who are grateful and content with the things they already have. Those types of people are usually able to see what they have, are thankful, and even refer to those things as blessings.

Good for them.

As for me, I just can't seem to stay on board with that program.

It's as if I have a perpetually ravenous appetite for whatever more is. And it's not so much a feeling of ambition as it is desire. It's a desire for something other than what I already have. And not just for material things, but everything.

Damn, I feel greedy. Heck, I guess it is greed.

In truth, there were a few occasions when I didn't feel like I needed more -- I've fallen in love a few times, and during those times, I actually was quite content. I didn't need more at all as far as relationships go.

I suppose I'll have to settle for that reality.

At least it's something, right? It's a start, I guess.


Therapy session over.

No comments:

Post a Comment